Coming Out of My Shell
If you was to know me when I was a little girl, I was the girl who sat in the back of the class because I was afraid the teacher would ask me a question and make me somehow speak in front of the class. I was the shy girl and to this day I still am in my own way. When me and my mom would go to a restaurant, I would say “Mom, Will you order for me?” I didn’t want to talk to the person behind the counter, I never went up to people and would start a conversation, and I still don’t like to call and complain to some stranger over the phone about my credit card bill. I was very shy!
Photography has helped in so many ways to grow up and become an adult, but getting there was so hard, because well you have to be a people person and that was not my thing. When I was younger, I remember dating an ex boyfriend, and remember so clearly how I was so excited to apply to be in my high school photography class, I ran to him and was like “Do you think I should take the class?” Hoping he is going to tell me yes and be excited for me, I remember him saying “You know, You have to buy a camera right?” I of course said “Yes, I know!!” He then said “They aren’t cheap, and she only is taking about 10 or so kids, so your chances are pretty low, and the seniors get first pick so I just don’t want you to get your hopes up, but you can try!” By his response I was very discouraged and even though that was about 10 years ago. I went home and asked my parents if I could be in the class? My parents didn’t have alot of money but they did buy me a nice FILM camera, that I still have to this day and I used later on to do my first wedding.
After I did get into my photography class I remember in the back of my mind trying to prove to that guy that I could do this and he was wrong! Why to this day do I remember him saying that to me I don’t know, but in its own way, he motivated me to prove him wrong.
After two years of photography classes, I still never EVER thought I would be where I am today. My senior year a friend of mine asked actually a girl in my class to take his senior pictures for him, she really didn’t want to and said I should do it. Little did he know that, the session I did got me so excited to photograph people. I wanted to do it all! Seniors, families, kids, you name it! After I went to walmart to develop the pictures we took that day. I came home to show my parents and I will again NEVER forget what they said, I showed mom the pictures and she said “Sarah, there are really good!” I said “Thanks!! I like them too and ya know what? I think I want to be a photographer!!” My mom looked at me with her nose snarled and said “A Photographer?” I then told her all the things that I could do with it and she was like “I don’t know?” Again the negative response made me try a little harder to prove to her that I could do it.
He showed all his friends the pictures I did and I can remember people asking me if I could do their pictures too. I was very excited. I ended up doing another friend of mine’s senior pictures. I then had me a pretty nice portfolio of pictures and I showed them to a few people here and there which led me to more bookings. Back then, facebook was no such thing and digital was not around. yeah I sound really old here but that is how it was, and being a shy person I never liked to ask someone if I could take their pictures? I felt weird doing that and I never liked to show off my pictures and be like out of the blue “Hey! Look what I did?” I felt like I was bragging or trying to sell them something and neither one of those things I wanted people to think
Now about 10 years down the road, I look at what has got me to this spot and I am thankful for the people that encouraged me and for the people that doubted me. My husband is the one I really have to thank. When I tell people STILL, ” I am a photographer” I think they think I photograph mountains or something and really don’t take me seriously and I do sometimes have doubts in myself but I TRY so hard to prove to everyone that I LOVE what I DO, I LOVE IT SO MUCH. When I am at home. I am either looking up new things to do, photography props, backgrounds, ideas, new products, blogs. I think about it ALL THE TIME. I know God has something great in store for me and sometimes I get discouraged. I feel like I could do better, I feel like I don’t charge enough, then I think I charge to much. Should I do this? Look what this person is doing and I can really almost work myself into stressing over something that has no reason to stress on.
I look at how I have never imaged going to a wedding where I don’t know ANYONE and laughing, talking to everyone I see and making new friends within a matter of minutes, I look at how I casually answer my phone when a stranger calls and I talk to them like I have known them for years. I do admit I still don’t like dealing with certain things and I am still shy, but I am working on it and I hope I continue to improve and I just want to THANK EVERYONE who has allowed me to photograph them over these past 10 years, I am only 25 so I can’t wait to see what is in store
Thanks for reading!
The First person I ever photographed at age 17
My First wedding